Modern Soapbox

The biggest thought running through my head as of late is whether or not I should completely give up on becoming a nurse. I have the opportunity over the summer to retake the two classes I withdrew from last month. I truly want to make my parents proud, but in my heart, I don’t want to become a nurse.

I’ve discussed the issue with friends. I know it’d be honorable to follow through and become a nurse, but I don’t want to bite that bullet. I do not like waking up early in the morning. I do not like stressing myself out. I do not like pissed off people. I do not like shoving too many pills down people’s throat. I do not like watching people suffer.

I was given plenty of time to think about my future while I waited to get into the program. When I finally got in, I just followed through the motions. By that time, I was working forty hours a week and paying all of my bills except auto insurance.

My life was going through a routine that I was content in. The addition of returning to school along with working and my creative outlets became too overwhelming, and I decided I did not want to become a nurse anymore. I believe that what was and still is currently going on in my life supersedes the idea of becoming a nurse more influenced by my loved ones than myself. I went with the flow because like the rest of us, we need security financially and career-wise to provide and survive.

I have not informed my parents of this decision I have made, but I promise you that I will. I know they will be heartbroken. I also know they will understand. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but this is what I hold true in my head.

Would you do the same? Would you follow your own heart over the influence of others? Would you strive to bring peace within yourself than enter a bloody battle to satisfy someone else? Should you make your life more difficult or should you leave it in the hands of fate?

I’ve asked myself those questions as well as dozens more. I still do not want to become a nurse. My heart tells me no.

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